Dealing with that embarassing moment when mum finds the bondage gear…

So, you’ve been having a great session playing with all the fabulous leather bondage toys (bought from Affordable Leather Products of course!) and, later on, your mother is coming to visit.

No problem, she’s not going to find anything, is she? And then comes the terribly embarrassing moment when she goes into your bedroom, or opens the wrong drawer or cupboard or you realise you’ve left a ball gag or a strap-on harness down beside the sofa!

[bctt tweet=”What do you do when your Mum finds your kinky toys? Here’s a few ideas to help deal with it”]

What happens when my mum finds my kinky BDSM toys?

Here are a few ways to explain your leather bondage gear to your mum…

Firstly: Keep calm!

If you suddenly go “Oh my god!” and dash across the room, grabbing whatever it is she’s found or trying to slam the cupboard door, you’re only going to make things worse, this is the classic Streisand Effect where trying to hide something just makes people want to know about it.

OK, so she has found your kinky toy collection and all your worst fears about being outed as kinky are coming true, but this doesn’t mean that she’s going to react in the way you expect.

Sure, you want to keep your Wrist Cuffs, Gags, Butt Plugs, Strap-ons or whatever private, but let’s think a moment, maybe she won’t recognise what it is, so trying to grab it off her or hide it isn’t going to help.

Don’t shout at her

It probably wasn’t her fault that she found your kinky stash, so accusing her of snooping or telling her she should have minded her own business will only upset her (and you).

Try to bluff it out

Calmly go over to her and take the item off her saying something like “Oh, sorry, that should have been put away.” If you don’t make a big deal about it, she may simply put it out of her mind and if the toy isn’t anything blatantly obvious like a dildo, she might not even recognise it.

Try to shrug it off

If she does figure out what it is, again, don’t make a big deal, just say “Yes, it’s kinky toy, my partner and I play with stuff like that”, put it away and say no more about it and she may well drop the subject too if she’s embarrassed as well.

Talk to her

This is a slightly more difficult option, but it depends on how you (and she) feel when talking about sexual subjects.

If you’ve had sex talks before, you’re probably both quite comfortable with discussing such things, in which case just tell her a bit about the item, what it’s for and (probably without going into too many details!) how you use it or how it’s used on you.

Of course you may not be used to talking about sexual matters with your mother, in which case you’re both likely to find it a bit awkward, but if you keep it on an adult level and don’t get too graphic, you can probably get past that.

If you go this route, do remember to emphasise that it’s all about Safe, Sane and Consensual. You and your partner do this because you want to, it’s fun, nobody is getting forced into something they want to do and nobody is getting hurt (well, not any more than then enjoy!)

Just keep an eye on her and try not to go too far. If it looks like she’s getting uncomfortable, drop the subject or say “we can talk about this another time” and then leave it until she wants to bring it up again.

Finally, trust your mum!

You never know, but your mum may actually be cool about such things, after all, she’s had sex too and, unless she’s of a very puritan mindset, she might even have a few sex toys of her own! For all you know, she may be into kinky stuff too and has a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in her bedside drawer along with a vibrator…

[bctt tweet=”Your mum could be into kinky stuff too and have 50 Shades of Grey in her bedside drawer!”]

Even if she doesn’t and she is surprised (but not shocked), you might find that she’s glad that you are happy to experiment a bit.

Keeping relaxed about it may well help her feel less embarrassed about discovering something which is normally extremely private, she may well be feeling bad about upsetting you.

If you can laugh it off and have a giggle with her (maybe suggesting she get something similar for your dad), go for it.

In the meantime, next time you play, just ensure you’re careful about picking up and putting everything you’ve played with, closed and locked the cupboard doors and maybe you’ll not have to deal with the situation at all.

Oh and finally, if she’s really cool about it, point her at the Affordable Leather Products website we’ll welcome her custom 🙂

Has your mum (or someone else) ever found your kinky toy collection?

Have you had the experience of someone discovering your kinky side? How did they deal with it? How did you deal with it?

What advice do you have for others if this happens to them? Let us know by leaving a comment…